Planet Police

Hard Choices

2008-08-20T20:47:28+00:00

Talking about child abusers does seem to raise some very extreme opinions on what to do with them. I don’t have a solution yet. I spent two and a half years collecting evidence against them and another year trying to manage them in the community post release. In retrospect, they were not the happiest years [...]

Rules for Life

2008-08-20T20:41:12+00:00

Nothing to do with policing really, other thyan a general comment about society, but I happened to like the following item which I came across on the Internet the other day & I think says a lot about today’s younger generation.

Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase “It’s not fair” 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.

Rule No. 2: The real world won’t care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it’s not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won’t make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won’t be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn’t have a Gap label.

Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait ’til you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he’s not going to ask you how you feel about it.

Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren’t embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

Rule No. 6: It’s not your parents’ fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of “It’s my life,” and “You’re not the boss of me,” and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it’s on your dime. Don’t whine about it, or you’ll sound like a baby boomer.

Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn’t. In some schools, they’ll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone’s feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)

Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don’t get summers off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don’t get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we’re at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rules No. 1 and No. 2.)

Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.

Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Rule No. 12: Smoking (or drug use) does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you’re out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That’s what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for “expressing yourself” with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven’t seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school’s a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you’ll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You’re welcome.

I have no idea who this chap is but a quick look on Google revealed he is a writer & broadcaster for some American radio station in Wisconsin.

Yet more non-police:

2008-08-20T16:08:00+00:00

Police numbers are always a hot topic. The government, and the previous government, will boast about how there are now thousands more police "on the streets" than there were before. Boosts in recruitment of PCSOs are described as boosting police numbers. Now more money is being ploughed into Special Constables.

It is fairly clear that the government's strategy is to continually build up funding for non-police police, such as PCSOs, Specials, civilian investigators, etc, whilst reducing it for the police itself. The model of civilians with powers that all link together to form a fully-functioning world of criminal justice is quite a clever one, but here is why I think all this cash should go on more "real" police officers instead:

As a police officer, I can patrol, arrest, bosh doors, deal with motoring, investigate crime, put together a case file, seize evidence, charge and interview prisoners, give evidence in court, and chat to Mrs Jones about the sad demise of her favourite cat. More importantly, because I am trained to do all those things, I can also apply my judgment as to when each is needed.

Here's a real example of some every day police work. I get called to a report of some kids mucking about on the High Street. On arrival, there's a broken window, bits of glass across the pavement and a group of kids a bit further up the road acting nonchalant. A passer-by tells me one of the kids did it, and points out the offender. I go towards him, he legs it into a car with his mates. I leg it to my car and manage to stop him round the corner (he's in a metro, ok!). I arrest him, book him into custody, seize fragments of glass from his hair and clothes, take a statement from the witness and the owner of the window, go back and interview the kid, then charge/caution him. I do my statement, and the file, and later give evidence in court. Yes, I'm out of action for the rest of the shift, but the chances are the kid will be convicted (assuming it's a good identification by the witness).

Under the snazzy twenty-first century model of policing, here is how this would be dealt with: A PCSO attends a report of some kids mucking about, as it is designated "non-confrontational". On arrival there is a broken window and a group of kids up the road. A passer-by points out the offender, whereupon the PCSO immediately requests a police officer to the scene to make the arrest. As the police officer approaches, the kid legs it into a car. A traffic officer is summoned to the scene. Miraculously, the traffic car manages to stop the offender nearby. The police officer is called to arrest the kid. In fact, this will have to be a different police officer, otherwise the identification evidence will be ruined. In custody, a civilian attends to seize glass and clothing. A statement-taker is called out to get witness statements. Then, a trained interviewer is brought in to interview the kid. All seven police employees then do witness statements of their involvement in the case, and pass all the information to a file-builder, who prepares the file for court. Any questions the file-builder has must be directed back to the relevant officer/officers, all of whom are required in court if the offender pleads not guilty. None of this is including the fact that a video identification procedure may be required because there was lack of continuity of the suspect, which will involve a further 4-6 weeks on bail and a special video identification officer who will also become a witness. Nobody is solely responsible for the case, so the victim is confused and gets passed from department to department, and the case ends up so complicated it fails in court anyway, or never gets there.

For murder enquiries, frauds or other complex investigations, all these cogs are useful, and fall into place. For simple day-to-day police tasks, which constitute 90% of what we do, it is absurd.

I haven't even started on how the use of non-police alters how we deal with these incidents to start with, in that the above could well end up classified as unwitnessed crime, therefore not investigated at all, or even attended. This is already happening in Blandshire.

I could go onto describe how PCSOs are being used to stop-check offenders for possible crimes, despite not really knowing what they are looking for or what to do if it is the right person. They are being used to do welfare checks on people we are concerned about, despite little idea of how to assess whether a door needs to be forced or not. They attend serious crime scenes and car accidents, to direct traffic and pedestrians, but would be unable to act if the offender/driver appeared in front of them. Civilian crime investigators likewise are generating investigations into shopliftings, burglaries, frauds, without playing any part in the resulting arrest, file or court case, therefore having no real concept of the goal. Any feedback into their work comes a year down the line when the case has failed at court and the investigator's contract has ended anyway.

None of this inefficiency is measurable. But it is insidious and irreversible, and it is utterly ruining the British police force.

I'm not against change for its own sake, I just have an old-fashioned belief in skilled and versatile employees, well-paid and well-trained, and motivated by a deep-rooted faith in the system in which they work.

Failing that, there's always Beach Volleyball.

Coming soon: "Perverting the Course of Justice" by Inspector Gadget. Expect an early review here...

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'Diary of an On-Call Girl' is available in some bookstores and online.

Ambos and Tea Spots

2008-08-20T10:50:00+00:00

I was at a regular tea spot haunt the other night, having a quick drink and something greasy and unhealthy to eat. Most night shift workers will know the place - it's where Police Officers (often from different forces and areas), Ambulance Crews, RAC and AA Crews, Truck Drivers, and Cabbies all end up socialising as they wait for their sausage inna bun.

Whilst chatting to a couple of ambo boys, they told me a story that made me laugh out loud, but made my partner, Tom, recoil in horror and look at me funny. In retrospect it's probably both funny and horrific.
So I thought I'd pass it on.

Both of the ambo lads were paramedics, who usually work on the solo fast response cars.
One night shift in the very early hours of the morning, they had parked up by the river next to each other for a chat and a cup of tea, whilst waiting for the calls that never came.

Of course, warm drink, heaters on, both of them fell asleep.

As one of them described it "The next thing I know, a pissed wailing banshee is hammering on my window and screaming at me."
A very drunk female woke them both up, shouting that a man was hanging himself.

In front of them.

Surely enough, that was what had happened. Whilst the ambo crews had slept, a depressed and also very drunk young man had walked up, tied a rope off a post, and lowered himself on to it. The drunk lady had noticed from a distance and ran to the paramedics.

As the crews described it, they literally woke up in time to see the man drop in front of them. Makes waking up to an alarm clock suddenly seem so much more bearable.

Both paramedics obviously leapt out and dealt with it, and the male was taken to hospital, no serious injuries at all.

Now, obviously if the man had succeeded it would have been a tradgedy. But what made me giggle was the panic the ambos must have felt on A)waking up from an illicit sleep, B)having a screaming banshee hammering on their windows, and C)seeing a man with a noose around his neck lower himself in front of their still bleary eyes.

One of the paramedics told me later that as he was cutting the man down and working on him, the whole time he kept imagining waking up in the hazy dawn light with a corpse hanging in front of two fully marked ambulances.
Apparently they haven't had any more illicit snoozes in public places since then...

Looks Like We Guessed Right

2008-08-19T18:20:07+00:00

Remember Iron Tim Harris? He's the convicted killer, coke snorter and late-night amateur boxer discussed in the post below.
He rampaged round Northampton on New Year's Eve, and - despite punching a policewoman to the ground and attacking an innocent member of the public - utterly failed to get himself banged up.
The learned judge, Christopher Metcalf, deferred sentence for six months on the basis of defence claims that Harris was a changed man - off the snort, off the drink, working, loves his kids blah blah blah.
Maybe we're a bit more cynical than the judge, but we had our doubts.
Anyway, someone has emailed us to point out that Harris was back in court this week for an offence in March - ie three months after the rampage and during the period when he had 'changed'.
According to the Northampton Chronicle, Harris was seen arguing with a female and then grabbing her round the throat.
He then turned round and punched a man in the face, causing bleeding and swelling to his nose and damage to his clothing.
He was pinged for common assault (plus failure to surrender) and was found guilty in his absence on after he failed to attend court.
Maybe it's just a question of what 'changed' means?
Still, thank goodness the Mags dealt with him harshly.
He got 100 hours unpaid work and was ordered to pay £100 to the victim for injuries sustained and £100 for damage to his clothing. He must also pay £150 costs.
Now, anyone care to guess whether:
a) He will do those 100 hours?
b) He will pay the £100 compo?
c) He will pay the £150 costs?
In fact, can anyone tell us the name of the victim, and we'll ask him ourselves?
Also, can any Northamptonshire readers keep us updated as to what happens to Harris when he's back before Judge Metcalf for his deferred sentence?

Life on the Street

2008-08-19T10:41:11+00:00

Did anyone see ITV’s Beat: Life on the Street, a TV programme about neighbourhood policing?

No, neither did I, but apparently it showed the PCSO scheme in quite a favourable light.

Media regulator Ofcom has announced that it is to investigate as the programme was commissioned by none other than the Home Office who provided £800,000 towards the costs of producing the series.

Leo McKinstry, writing in the Daily Excess said: “Such behaviour by the state belong to totalitarianist socialism, not a supposed democracy. It is hard to imagine a more outrageous misuse of public funds.”

I don’t agree, I think the list of outrageous misuse of public funds is very long indeed, but that’s another story.

Rules And Regs

2008-08-18T23:30:20+00:00

Don’t panic! You haven’t been in an accident, fallen into a coma and then travelled through time. This is just a post-dated post to keep it at the top of the page. Having been out to grass for a few months now, the penny has finally dropped: Knoll building isn’t very exciting; whereas embroidery is full of thrills, spills and endless possibilities. While I try to get my (non-profit) pattern

An Inspector Calls

2008-08-18T08:41:09+00:00

It must be refreshing for the prison officers at Bullingham Prison in Oxfordshire that the people at the top of the prison-tree are so switched on to the way the prison system should be run.

The prison was recently visited by Her Majesty’s Inspector of Prisons, which is a bit like the dreaded Ofsted visits for schools.

HM Inspector has drawn up a list of 200 recommendations for improvement in the treatment of the 950 inmates. Among them were:

Prisoners should be addressed by their first name or surname & title, which ever they preferred
Evening meals should be served later to stop prisoners getting hungry during the night
Prisoners should spend more time out of their cell
Prisoner should be given gym inductions & free condoms

Glynn Travis of the Prison Officer’s Association responded: “I don’t think we can keep control of violent prisoners by calling them by their first name.”

An audit carried out recently on the orders of Justice Secretary Jack Straw, showed that the Prison Service has spent £221,726 on Playstations, X-Boxs & Nintendo game systems & related software & that the prison system has 12,948 game consoles between its 83,600 prisoners, or 1 console between each 6.45 prisoners.

Hello, Police…

2008-08-17T20:41:33+00:00

South Wales Police says it has seen a 10% drop in the amount of unnecessary 999 calls after it changed the way its call-takers answered the phone.

Apparently, when callers are greeted with the phrase, “South Wale Police, what is your emergency?” it encourages callers to realise that they haven’t actually got an emergency & stops them dialling 999 in future.

I think we should do the same in my force. A 10% cut in wasted calls would be very handy, how many extra doughnuts can you fit in when you do 10% less work?

I’d refine the opening phrase even more though to get an even bigger drop in calls. “Hello, police emergency, if you haven’t got an emergency this call is going to cost you £10 which will automatically be charged to your telephone bill, thank you for calling, we’re here to help make your community safer in partnership.”

I bet we’d get a significantly bigger drop in wasted 999 calls than South Wales’ piffly little 10%!

I am a wannabe!

2008-08-17T14:00:00+00:00

You've got me, it's true. You were right all along. I am a wannabe!

I've wanted to be a Police Officer ever since I was a child. It's all I can see myself doing in life.
It's never made me act outside of my PCSO remit though.

The role of PCSO was new to me when I decided I wanted to join the police. No one knew what it was, other than that it was "the old fashioned bobby back on the beat". That sounded good to me at the time. It's what I wanted. Unfortunately, four years later, it's clearly not what I expected, or what was sold to me by the Home Office, and my particular force. There is still time and space for the right improvements though.

I decided late last year that I wanted to apply for the role of Police Constable. I did and I passed the application stage. I then, just, passed the assessment centre earlier this year, and have recently passed the fitness and medical. I‘ll be handing over my blue eppilets and starting my training in just a few months time.

When I restarted this blog after shutting it down last year, I knew that I wanted to be a voice for PCSOs amongst the blogger brigade. There were lots of unjustified PCSO-bashing. There was also, to a certain extent, some justified "bashing", too.

I wanted to be the voice of someone who has gone through the transition of being a PCSO and then a Police Officer. A completely fresh point of view, completely unbiased and having experienced both roles. I didn't want to let anyone know I had applied. Probably, if I'm honest, because I was concerned I'd fail and then get branded a wannabe who just couldn't make it to PC and uses this role to fulfil my unobtainable fantasies.

I'm sure there will be some who are sceptical and suspect I'm making this up, I'll just have to take a photo of something as evidence I suppose. Perhaps that'll be a fun little challeng for me in the coming months.

Anyway. I'm still a PCSO and will be for some months. Then, when the time is right, I'm sure the blog will undergo a slight makeover. Watch this space.

I still believe in what PCSOs stand for and the potential that's there. Dealing whit the low-level, quality of life issues. Bringing a visible patrolling presence to the streets is essential in my experience and will never happen with just Police Officers because of the nature of the job and how it has evolved. We need a presence at community meetings, we need a PCSO to chat to eighty-year-olds in their homes over a cuppa, we need a PCSO to stand at scene guards for four hours, we need PCSOs to stand in a high youth crime area for hours on end taking all of their names and speaking to their parents individually. We need their local knowledge and their intelligence gathering. These are things we need and things modern police forces wouldn't be able to deal with effectively without PCSOs and NPTs. It just wouldn't happen. Even with an extra four thousand Police Officers (which is all you'd get for the money they spend on PCSOs).
I'll always look back with fond memories when I've left the role and will always defend unjustified 'bashing' and continue to educate others not in the know, about the realities of the work we do.

Thug Life

2008-08-16T23:07:00+00:00

I wasn’t always this angelic. There was a time in my life that my mother would rather forget. The time when I was a big fish in The Piranha Posse to be exact. It wasn’t for very long, just while I was a teenager doing my bit for the disaffected yoof. The members were all from the same inner city collection of vertical communities much vaunted in the drug addled sixties and seventies. These

Knife Solution

2008-08-16T22:01:03+00:00

Not had a vid in a little while so I thought I’d post a quick one, so to speak.

This links to a nice little bit of kit, perhaps this is how we should deal with knife crime. I’m sure after a few of these the little ****s would be thinking twice about taking out a knife in public.

BLUtube is powered by PoliceOne.com

PCSO power to search for alcohol and tobacco

2008-08-16T14:04:00+00:00

(para 8, Sched 8, SOCAP 2005)

PCSO power to search for alcohol and tobacco.

Either from under-age drinkers/smokers, or alcohol which has been consumed in a designated no drinking zone.

A discussion with a PC colleague of mine brought us both to the conclusion that this police power isn't actually available to the police. Strange, hay.

Please do correct me if I'm wrong, I really want to be corrected on this as it seems a bit silly really. It appears this power is only available to PCSOs. Which is rather odd.

I understand that there are ways around it for Police Officers. My colleague said he would probably arrest and then upon the search he would discover the alcohol and/or tobacco. But what if the particular circumstances meant that the arrest was not appropriate/justified/lawful?

I just find it unusual that there are powers available to PCSOs and not Police Officers. They are, after all, police powers.

Nothing But Greenlights

2008-08-16T11:14:22+00:00

At Kingsnorth, I was chatting to a Sergeant from G Division, our very own Ruralshire Constabulary. A sneaky Gadget Tee on a Metro riot cop at Kingsnorth. G Division is organised in an entirely different way to my own F Division. It may as well be a different police force. We were talking about public disorder in [...]

Privileged Knowledge

2008-08-15T22:24:21+00:00

Working in the Control Room, you’re always first to know just about anything which goes on in the force; it’s the rumour-monger’s dream.

The first time I did a stint in there a few years ago I was amazed at what was going on around the area, stuff I never got to hear being on a shift somewhere.

You get to know about most of the complaints about people; they invariably come in over the phone & before they get directed to a supervisor or Professional Standards Dept, everyone gets to have a look at the log to see who’s been doing what.

An awful lot of complaints are total rubbish. They’re made by people who don’t like being caught out or humiliated when they’ve been dealt with for doing something stupid or for not getting their way. I guess it’s the old attack being the best form of defence thing. There are lots of serial complainers.

Then there are the complaints where you look at it and suck your teeth in that mechanic giving you a quote kind of way & you think, hmm, probably shouldn’t have done that.

I suppose, to balance the books back in favour of the ‘customers’ there are also police officers whose names regularly appear on the complaint logs. The ones who always get complaints about they way they talk to people, for instance.

I’m surprised some of the staff in the Control Room don’t get more complaints, having said that I;m trying to think of any that have had complaints made against them, which surprises me somewhat givent he propensity of some people to make complaints against officers out there. I mean, the conversations on the phone you overhear, I’m not sure how some people get away with it. When the stress levels rise, so does the voice & the patience drops leading to some very animated remarks.

Some of the complaints that come in you’d really rather not know. I’ve seen people ringing in giving pretty intimate detail about officers’ private lives, allegations of criminal behaviour, stuff you really hope is just made up, but sometimes isn’t.

You also get to know all the jobs about the ‘celebrities’ in the area. As soon as a log comes in involving someone famous, word spreads round & everyone wants to know who it is & what they’re doing. You’d be amazed at some of the stuff that goes on, well I am.

There’s not really much point to this entry. I didn’t have an idea for today’s entry so I just started with a thought and saw where it took me. It’s taken me here so I’m off to watch the Olympics.

Take A Wild Guess

2008-08-15T17:03:12+00:00

It's 3.15am in an English county town, and Tim Harris is enjoying the Night Time Economy.
He is a convicted killer (five years for manslaughter), with nine previous convictions for 18 offences between 1984 and 2008.
Having got in the mood by snorting coke and drinking whisky, he decides to stage his own UFC Cage Rage championship bout, only without the cage.
CCTV sees him 'storming' around the town centre before he squares up to a stranger. Bouncers at a nearby bar intervene, at which point he appears to offer others cash to fight him.
Having no luck, he strides off and confronts another group of people. This time, he doesn't bother with the squaring up, but just punches one of them to the ground.
Police officers arrive and he punches one of them, a female, to the ground, too.
He is finally restrained by about 10 officers.
Interviewed the next day he can't remember a thing about it.
At court, he pleads guilty to actual bodily harm, common assault (and possibly affray - accounts differ).
The defence brief says his client is a 'unique' man who loves his children and grandchildren. As well as being unique, he is now also a 'different' man, in that he has found a job, knocked the drugs on the head, stopped drinking and sent flowers and chocolates to the WPC he attacked by way of an apology.
Now, ABH carries a maximum sentence of five years, and the aggravating factors which apply here include:
More than one victim
Unprovoked violence
Victim serving the public
Volatile location such as night club
Does the judge:
a) Send him down for three years (the maximim for ABH being five), saying, 'I've heard stories of men like you miraculously going straight many times before. I am sure similar stories have been put on your behalf by other advocates on each of the previous occasions you have been before the court. Indeed, such stories are put in their thousands, in courts up and down the land, every day. The truth is that you are a menace to society, quite unfit to be walking the streets. Your past history contains one of the most serious convictions in the criminal calendar and on this occasion you assaulted an innocent stranger and a police officer, and attempted to assault another man. You have been given chances before but clearly have not taken them. I have no choice but to pass a substantial custodial sentence, both to reflect the seriousness of this matter and to send a message out to you and to others like you that the courts will not tolerate violence on our streets by drug-taking drunks.'
b) Defer sentencing for six months and say, 'I'm giving him the chance to demonstrate whether he is capable of staying out of trouble. I'm going to see if there's any truth in what's being said. I hope you come back showing that you can do it because there will be one less prison space taken.'
If you want the answer, follow this link. Thanks to John Rose for pointing out this case to us.

More ruination

2008-08-15T12:57:00+00:00

The pussification of the UK's national life continues... gasps of surprise all round! And their legal excuse? Not on principle, morals, legality but on the tenuous link that it might offend Muslims, Catholics, Martians, gays, whoever.

Anti-Monarchists in Parliament have whined for years that they have to swear an oath to "Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, her heirs and successors" in order to take up their positions, snouts-down in front of the abundant trough that is Westminster, but now they're apparently mounting a legal challenge too. The BBC reports that 22 MPs have signed a Commons motion by Norman Baker, MP for Lewes, calling for the scrapping of the oath of allegiance.

Not surprisingly, Baker is a Lib-Dem. His voting record can be discerned pretty much by my telling you that he's a "whining anti-", except for his record on gay rights, which is apparenly only mildly pro- (perhaps it had been a rough few months - again - for Lib-Dem cruising scandals?). His expenses record for 2006/2007 was only [hem hem] £142,504 which only puts him at 225th highest in the House of Commons. Hmmm...

And who is taking up their mantle in this fight? It would, of course, have to be Louise Christian. Perhaps embarassed by the apparent partisanship of her surname, she's devoted her career to giving unpleasant people big legal hugs: if there's a penny to be made from a Legal Aid challenge to any authorities who might have looked the wrong way at the Human Rights Act, there she is, writing the invoice.

Now Ms Christian is, by all accounts, an excellent solicitor so I would expect a decent challenge to the oath. So what learned opinion have we so far? Er, "that it discriminated against Catholics, Muslims, other religions and atheists by requiring them to swear allegiance to the head of the Church of England". Perhaps it also offends young people by swearing to an old lady, huh Louise, huh? Shall we trot that one out too whilst we're putting together lazy arguments?

So there we have it: the tired old yah-boo-sucks argument of the lazy modern mind. She could object on legal principle or precedent, on grounds of poor governmentality, on constitutional grounds, or a host of other aguably legitimate reasons. However, the one that she's on the radio plugging is that is might offend people.

This is what we've come to in the UK. We should apparently dismantle all our traditions, all our values, all our history, just in case somebody might be offended, as decided by some rich, white, straight liberals who seek to impose their hegemony on everyone, trampling blithely over the views of other white, straight UK citizens (and a good few non-white, non-straight UK citizens who recognise some of the good things about UK traditions) so as not to offend their chosen cause celebre minority group.

Has anyone actually asked the Catholics, Muslims, atheists, Martians etc if they are offended by the oath of allegience? You can bet not. Let's just dismantle now and ask questions later.

It makes me ashamed to be a non-Brit, left-wing, left-handed, ginger lesbian copper. It really does.

In the Summertime

2008-08-15T01:25:00+00:00

I'm back from my gallivanting and can I be the first to say "Ha Ha Mourinho."

The weather has been mixed (that's Doric for shite), but for a change it appears those southwards have not been overly blessed with sunshine. Being a typical Scot me and the sunshine don't exactly see eye to eye, inasmuch as mair freckles and red raw skin are nae my cup o' tea. However, a wee bit more rays would not have gone amiss.

Typically, I had to go to the end of the earth (well to she who has to be obeyed's family croft) to get the best weather!

Up in these parts the sheep are always happy.

So, what else has been happening since I was away. The youngest got all his Standard Grades (what used to be 'O' grades/levels) and all top grades too. I think back to his early days and his autistic spectrum 'problems' and this is nothing short of amazing. He deserved his large hug fae his Pa! (Somehow I think he will be looking for something more material though).

The eldest turns 21 today. It is time he was given the key to his own bleedin' door! (I'm joking loon!)

One thing I will say is that having spent a ridiculous amount of time behind some clown on the A9 who didn't read the bit in the Highway Code about CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER ROAD USERS, this is far overdue, even if it is being supported by another clown, who will be safe in the knowledge that his adored team will not be disgracing themselves in Europe. Well, off the pitch anyway!!!!

So what's been going on since I've been away in the hive of activity that is the Highlands?

Georgia beat Russia ............ in the quine's beach volleyball at the Olympix anyway. I know, I was transfixed by this event. I even found out from the commentary team that the 2 Georgians were Brazilians. I know the outfits were skimpy, but how did they know that? I've heard of drug testing, but rug testing....... I'll get my hiviz.

But, otherwise most of the news has been crap.

In pseudo DBA Dude booze review mode, I can report that, whilst away, I popped into a Teuchter Tesco (f.a.o. AnneDroid - anither 'een!) and found this smashing wee drop. I should have bought more 'cos it has yet to hit Tesco's shelves locally.

Back to work next week, so maybe something Polis related to follow, but mind, I have a life!

Listening to: Mungo Jerry - In The Summertime via FoxyTunes

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

A little irony

2008-08-15T01:12:00+00:00

Name : Iosef Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili aka Stalin
D.O.B. : 18/12/1878
P.O.B. & Nationality : Go check!

Anyone else think this is a wee bit ironic?

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

From good, to bad, to worse.

2008-08-14T22:30:22+00:00

Well the day began early, Olympics on the TV and my sudden and rather odd appreciation of the interesting and superb Olympic sport of the ladies beach volleyball. Female gladiators of the sand no less. The athleticism, determination and skill levels of this new sport caused me to watch for a ...

One out, all out

2008-08-14T22:10:43+00:00

Apparently we’re going on a work to rule, the police that is. I’ve read it in 3 papers today so it must be true.

Of course, we can’t actually work-to-rule because we are banned from industrial action. The press reckon that because we’re being shafted again over pay, we’re going to stop doing the job all the favours & good will that is required to keep the machine rolling.

All the unpaid extra work, voluntary rest day working, all that kind of thing.

They printed an extract of a letter from the Federation to all its members which reminded officers of their duties & requirements & hinted that there were also a lot of things which we do as a given that we’re not required to do.

I’ve not seen anything which recommends any kind of withdrawal of good will, and to be honest, I don’t think it would work. There are too many people who will see some people withdrawing their overtime as a wonderful opportunity to grab some extra OTs. An awful lot of people rely on extra cash each month either just to get by or to keep them in the lifestyle they have grown accustomed to.

I expect that nothing will happen and we’ll get shafted either way.

PCSOs responding to urgent assistance shouts

2008-08-14T12:04:00+00:00

There will undoubtedly be an occasion where a Police Officer calls for urgent assistance and a PCSO will be near by.

Most PCSOs have been in this position where an Officer calls up and we're around the corner. With so many of us wondering about it's just a matter of time. I always find it interesting discussing this one with colleagues.

Most say they would get stuck in and help out, even with a lack of PPE and training. Some say they would go to it at least "observe and report" (what we're supposed to do in confrontational situations (it's force policy you know..) and act as a professional witness, perhaps keeping crowds back.

There are some that have a particular, in my opinion, misguided view that annoys me. They are the, "well, we haven't got the powers to get stuck in..."
Clearly if a Police Officer, or anyone for that matter, is getting ten tons of shit kicked out of them, then you DO have a lawful power to intervene and use reasonable force.
If the argument is that the PCSO does not feel physically capable, then that's a different story, but if it's because they think they "don't have a power", then that's just wrong. It keeps coming back to this lack of training in basic policing. Just the simple stuff needs to be reinforced.

I see door supervisors helping out Officers all the time, they know the law in this area much better than us and all they get is a couple of days training from SIA. Sure they probably use the powers more often, but some of us PCSOs get up to three months training for Christ sake.

PCSOs, what would you do? Do you have silly force policy in place that says you shouldn't get involved? Opinions please.

More Free Money

2008-08-13T22:05:55+00:00

I’ve had sight of the new forumla for working out my pension commutation.

I don’t know how widespread the ability to commute your pension is, maybe you can do this in every job, I have no idea. Basically, what it means is that when you retire & your pension is due, you get a set amount of money in the form of the pension. You can convert part of the pension to a cash lump sum but get a reduced pension.

There’s a forumla where you can work out what your pension will be if you convert varying amounts of it to the lump sum & what the lump sum is likely to be. It’s based on your age at retirment.

The Federation had a little Exell spreadsheet in which you could enter your rank & age & it would give you a pension forcast.

Unfortunately, it became defunct when the Home Secretary announced the pension changes a couple of months ago. As far as I’m aware, a new calculator thingy hasn’t been released yet.

There’s some new charts floating around at work. You can look up a calculation figure based on your age, rank, inside leg measurement double it, add 27, half it and divide by the amount of complaints received in the last five years.

The calculator on my mobile almost caused my sim card to fry but after a few beeps, squeaks and some smoke it finally came out with a figure, which is over twenty grand more than it would have been prior to the change.

I made the mistake of informing Mrs Weeks of the new-found joy. Ever since I keep finding little post-it notes around the house; “needs replacing” is appearing on all the kitchen appliances, bedroom furniture & bathroom suite items.

I have a feeling that whatever I do when I retire, DIY will form an increasing part of it.

Can’t drive, won’t drive.

2008-08-13T09:30:15+00:00

At the CTCC there is a sudden and unexpected crisis being discussed at meetings within the inner sanctum of the SMT secret bunker. It appears that we are facing severe increases in our fuel costs for operational vehicles. This has resulted in a huge dent in the fuel budgets that ...

Drunkards get less cash

2008-08-13T07:22:00+00:00

The Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority (CICA) has been criticised for cutting criminal compensation by 25% if the victim has been drinking.

As far as I am aware, this applies equally to all victims, but it is a rape victim which has sparked the argument. This victim thinks that the reduction is harping back to the 1970s when people said drunk rape victims were "asking for it".

The first point is that most rape victims are drunk. This is because, frankly, drunk girls are easier to rape. It takes less force, they act less rationally, and they are not believed. However, drunk people of any gender are easier to commit crime on full-stop. Most mugging victims I deal with are drunk, as are assaults. This is a fact of life.

I have never seen an advertisement informing people that if they are drunk when they become a victim of crime their compensation will be reduced. This was clearly introduced because the powers-that-be feel that being drunk is irresponsible and they want to discourage it. In fact, it is the sort of financial incentive to sobriety that even local Blandmoreans might heed. But if it is intended as a legitimate social concern, WHY ON EARTH is this not publicised? How can it possibly act as a deterrent to drinking if no one knows this might happen?

There is no point pretending that this scheme does not seek to lay blame on victims for being drunk. I don't necessarily disagree with the idea of deterring drinking. It is worth bearing in mind that the money handed out by CICA does not come out of the offender's pocket - it is public money. So it does not represent any benefit to the offender.

But it is dangerous to assume that a crime occurred due to drunkenness, because in most cases alcohol only contributed to the situation and did not cause it. "Normal" guys do not become rapists just because they are drunk, even if they drink to assist them with the "courage" to do it. On the flip side, "normal" girls (or boys) can fall victim to rapists whether drunk or not, although most rapists will pick on a drunk one because that is their modus operandi and is much easier.

Yet the courts place great emphasis on drunkenness. Sometimes it is held against the offender if they were drunk. But in some cases, it can be a criminal defence. In others, evidence of their own drunkenness provides mitigation if convicted. If being drunk is a defence to acting stupidly, why are victims of crime penalised for it? If we agree that being drunk and wandering the streets is irresponsible, why do we not punish OFFENDERS more harshly who do it, as well as penalising the victims?

The comments of this judge, in a case where both parties were drunk, sum it up qutie nicely:

"No doubt it would not have happened were you not so drunk that night, but the fact you were drunk does not afford any real mitigation. The fact you would not have done it had you been sober makes no difference to her."

The same does not appear to hold true the other way around.

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'Diary of an On-Call Girl' is available in some bookstores and online.

Find me a Cash Cow

2008-08-12T22:29:18+00:00

I came across the below set of figures recently. Just have a quick scan through & see if you can guess what the figures represent. Notice that most forces’ figure has risen in the last 10 years (that figures were available) while only a small number have gone down.

Force	1997	2006
Avon & Somerset	£291,760	£3,156,360
Bedfordshire	£348,000	£2,904,420
Cambridgeshire	£593,480	£1,230,120
Cheshire	£431,400	£1,714,200
Cleveland	£129,560	£1,142,640
Cumbria	£195,280	£1,921,380
Derbyshire	£697,520	1,187,840
Devon & Cornwall	£2,446,000	£2,549,220
Dorset	£446,880	£3,095,940
Durham	£128,520	£169,020
Essex	£1,844,920	£3,642,300
Gloucestershire	£250,400	£804,360
Greater Manchester	£2,195,760	£3,616,920
Hampshire	£1,098,400	£2,964,240
Hertfordshire	£704,160	£4,908,300
Humberside	£389,400	£2,203,080
Kent	£1,148,240	£2,830,740
Lancashire	£952,520	£3,471,480
Leicestershire	£232,480	£1,476,360
Lincolnshire	£263,520	£1,545,000
City of London	£20,800	£365,340
Merseyside	£472,320	£1,982,400
Metropolitan	£1,807,520	£6,148,920
Norfolk	£192,200	£1,499,100
Northamptonshire	£148,880	£2,534,520
Northumbria	£1,024,120	£3,112,800
North Yorkshire	£475,160	£375,480
Nottinghamshire	£185,000	£2,574,960
South Yorkshire	£1,562,480	£3,088,920
Staffordshire	£902,080	£3,049,380
Suffolk	£290,840	£2,066,520
Surrey	£213,600	£2,371,200
Sussex	£1,004.960	£2,881,620
Thames Valley	£2,131,400	£8,238,720
Warwickshire	£74,280	£1,818,960
West Mercia	£615,680	£2,772,780
West Midlands	£375,120	£2,669,820
West Yorkshire	£964,120	£2,791,680
Wiltshire	££453,200	£3,087,480
Dyfed Powys	£268,320	£63,240
Gwent	£210,520	£31,860
North Wales	£365,840	£3,569,460
South Wales	£889,080	£1,992,480
Total	£28,510,120	£106,404,720

I suppose a lot of you have you guessed & it won’t be surprise to those who didn’t that the figures represent the amount of income generated by speed cameras.

Note that some ‘incomes’ have gone up by ten times or more. Only North Yorkshire, Dyfed Powys & Gwent have gone down.

This is all grist to the mill of those who criticise speed cameras. i.e. most motorists. The debate continues on how much use speed cameras are for increasing safety & reducing road deaths.

I remain smug in the knowledge that I’ve not contributed a single penny to the above coffers (in direct fines, I accept that my taxes go to provide & maintain the equipment & adminsitrative staff & processes to run the things).

One thing is sure, whether you think it’s good or bad that so much money is now being raised through speed fines, it’s the police who will get the rough end of the criticism stick. “Haven’t you got anything better to do,?” “picking on the motorist again”, despite the fact that the police officers have little or nothing to do with speed cameras, the people who maintain & administrate them just happen to live in the same building.

If I get some time I’ll try & find out how many people have been saved & not injured because we are fining more motorists. It might make a good project for a winter’s evening some time.

PCSO Rescue

2008-08-12T18:47:00+00:00

An interesting news story, about an obviously very naughty and reprehensible act by some council employees in Oldham.

Luckily there was a PCSO, I assume from Greater Manchester Police, on hand to assist and stop the offenders in their tracks.
Some good publicity for CSOs.

Two things struck me whilst reading the quote "It reportedly carried on for 20 minutes before the PCSO intervened"

1 - Was the PCSO watching for the full twenty minutes? If so, surely s/he must have youtube evidence at least.
2 - Twenty minutes!? Is that physically possible? Wow. Give the man a medal I say...

Fit for purpose.

2008-08-12T14:30:22+00:00

Well it is now official. At the CTCC the Dogs Section is deemed to be fit for purpose. The vans must be clean and there is still some tread on the tyres. We have got the official news from the Chief Superintendent that we are deemed to have been ticking ...

Scene Guards and dead guys

2008-08-11T16:52:00+00:00

Just a few feet away, in this hallway, near that corner, at the bottom of the staircase, there is a dead body.

My job is to stand here and guard the scene. The guy died of a Heroin overdose, but it has to be treated as a crime scene, just in case. PCSOs are right at home at crime scenes. It's our job.
Our role is to stand there and look official, maintain continuity by keeping a scene log and making sure no one goes in, and if they do, it's documented. normally you get SOCO attending, a Detective and then the Coroners collection people, who are the most apathetic people I've ever met.

It's very strange guarding a dead body. They make all sorts of noises. They burp, fart and stink. Then at the end of the scene guard, when you are finally allowed to stand down, you end up smelling of death.
I remember standing somewhere identical to the position this photo was taken from. I'd been there for two hours, completely alone with just me and a dead body. I had plenty of time to think about the life this guy may have had.

I imagined how horrible it must be to die, but then when he died he was probably incredibly happy, probably having some euphoric-out-of-body-experience, so he was probably not aware he was going to die and would end up face down in a hallway at the bottom of the stairs, with one of those funny plastic cops guarding his corps.

Weird old world.

*The photo was taken from Google images, I didn't take it, but it is identical to the hallway I stood guard in and it brought the memories flooding back the second I saw it, so I thought I'd use it.

Free Money!!

2008-08-11T09:47:08+00:00

We’re not very popular in the press this week, again. People don’t like it that some of us are getting extra cash.

The payments come in the form of three types of additional ‘bonuses’. One of these is for carrying out duties whi are, for instance, particularly gruesome. We used to get an extra allowance for fingerprinting dead bodies - to try & ID them - this, along with several other allowances was the taken away when the government wanted to save a bit of cash.

Payments range from £50 to £500. It was introduced for a wider range of duties & the payment amounts are at the discretion of the chief.

Then came Special Priority Payments. This was in the form of an annual grant to each force of a set amount of extra cash. The chief could use it to top of the wage of a limited percentage of its officers. That percentage is fixed by the government & restricts payments to less than 50% of the force. The chief decides how to split this amount up & what amount to give to each individual department or specialism. It’s typically used in role which are either hard to fill, dangerous or onerous, or where staff are disappearing to other forces, for instance the Met, who can offer a higher salary due to the London allowances.

It’s a very divisive payment & there is a lot of anger & argument from departments which feel they ought to receive it but don’t. It often goes to firearms officers, senior detectives, CID & not usually to front line 24-hour shift officers.

The third payment scheme is Competency Related Pay & is for officers over a certain amount of service who are at the top of their pay scale. It’s a payment you can claim if you evidence the fact that you are good at your job. This basically means copying someone else’s report saying how good you are & changing the name to your own.

I’m not that certain about the validity or requirement reasons for these payments, to be honest. I only get the third one which amounts, I think, to an extra amount of about £80 (taxable) per month.

Mike Craik, chief constable of Northumbria is more forthright. He described the payments as “an inapropriate way of rewarding public services” but went on to say he’d prefer to see a better pay scale. He criticised the bonus payment scheme by saying “I have seen the most grisly things you could ever come across, but that is the job I signed up to”.

His criticism of the payments didn’t stop him trousering a share of a £47,000 bonus payment to him & 4 of his senior staff.

Semper Vigilo

2008-08-10T23:44:00+00:00

A virtual postcard fer yiv a', fan I'm gallivanting aboot Scotland, wishing you a' yi wish yersel.

I'm blogging fae deepest Toy Land™ at my ickle bruvver's hoose jist noo, but I hae bin oot and aboot in Perthshire, Ross-shire and Sutherland. You can see some photos here.

n.b. There's a special wee fotie fer AnneDroid en a'.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Unsupervision Orders

2008-08-10T23:59:46+00:00

Apparently, people think heart attacks are the sudden, dramatic, chest-grabbing affairs we see in movies. The reality is that the symptoms are 'woolly, ambiguous and easy to ignore'.
The British Heart Foundation's response to this is to screen a two-minute film tonight in which they will explain how that nagging and nebulous discomfort might be a lot more serious than you think.
It's well-meaning, but the result is entirely predictable: I hope they've got extra ambulance crews and A&E staff standing by for the next month or so.
We live in a country and time where the authorities think that they can micro-manage everything: if they can tick every last box and give us every cough and spit of the 'information', it's all going to be OK.
As poor Martin Dinnegan discovered, that is not the case.
Martin happened to be part of a group of kids which exchanged 'dirty looks' with another group of kids in London last year. An hour later, he was chased down the street by members of the other group.
One of them, Kevron Williams, caught him, punched him to the ground and stabbed him with a screwdriver.
A second, Joseph Chin, then held him down and stabbed him to death.
This is in broad daylight.
Chin had a criminal record dating back to the age of 12, when he was caught with a snooker ball in a sock.
Later, he was done for affray after threatening a man with an iron pipe.
Finally, in September 2006 he was given a 12-month supervision order after kicking a shopkeeper unconscious. The order was still in force when he murdered Martin.
What do we want from 'the authorities'?
Some honesty would be nice. We can't prevent every heart attack, and supervision orders are a waste of time - one of the great frauds of the age.
Williams got four years, Chin 'a minimum' of 12. I don't know about you, but 12 years for chasing a 14-year-old boy down the street and stabbing him to death... are we 'sending the right message' here?

The Gooner

Lack of Postage

2008-08-10T22:59:00+00:00

I may not be posting much this week. I have been struck down by a bout of Olympic flu, the symptoms of which are as follows:

Taking up a new sport which no one has ever heard of, such as rhythmic gymnastics, or handball.
Singing along to the national anthem with tears in my eyes during the one medal ceremony where Britain has won a gold.
The feeling that I will have achieved nothing with my life if I do not win a medal at London 2012.

As I worked the weekend in Blandmore, I was proud to see the locals honouring our sporting prowess in Beijing. Instead of getting plastered, losing all their money and sitting at my boots imploring me for a lift home, they have been getting plastered, losing all their money, sitting at my boots imploring me for a lift home AND deploring my lack of patriotism when I refuse.

In case you are wondering, the sport I will be taking up to win my 2012 medal is beach volleyball. I'm not too great at volleyball, but I'm hoping my strong interest in the beach will do.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Diary of an On-Call Girl' is available in some bookstores and online.

Response Officers

2008-08-10T19:35:00+00:00

I was asked to pop in to our Response Officers office to see a man about a "quick just job". I've talked about just jobs before, here. They're never 'just a quick job'...While in their office I found myself looking around at all the new faces. It dawned on me that I was probably the longest serving member of police staff in that whole office, except for the Sergeant, who's been in about two years longer than me.

I know that all the experienced Officers are moving to more glamours forces, or moving off to specialize in traffic, firearms, CID etc. But it's a concern that the majority of the Response Officers are young in service Officers, half were probably still probationers. Worrying to think that the majority of jobs the police respond to will be from one of these guys, at least in the first instance.

Most jobs get a response from Officers with the least experience. Just an observation.

Cop Trumps

2008-08-10T19:14:24+00:00

So Hampshire Police & Portsmouth City Council have come up with a radical way to get down with the kids; they’ve released a set of Top Trumps featuring members of the local policing team. The cards have a photo of the officer/PCSO together with facts & figures with which kids can play the Top Trumps game, measuring, for instance, pedal power, agility, problem solving & strength against other cards.

I’m not sure who was first but Merseyside Police also have a set featuring the Mounted Section.

West Yorkshire Police clearly don’t feel photos of their own officers will go down quite so well so they offer a set of Top Trumps on their website which feature local Rugby stars.

Northamptonshire Police have a set of 24 cards featuring local officers.

Amazingly innovative, these cards, except we were doing them maybe 20 years ago. They came in sets & all the local schools were encouraged to approach officers to ask for the cards to complete their sets. We were encouraged to patrol near schools at chucking out time so that the kids would speak to us. We handed them out during school visits. I must see if I can find a set, I’m sure there must be a set or two in the loft.

Perhaps I can get them on the Antiques Road Show.

TROUBLE WITH

2008-08-10T18:46:54+00:00

One of the benefits of not having NCRS is that you get a lot more discretion about how you deal with incidents. A good example of this is the classification "Trouble with [person/man/woman/intoxicated persons/etc/etc]" When there's no rush to classify everything as either a crime or a no crime, the attending officer can go to the scene, speak to everyone involved, have a think, then come up with a solution that takes into account public safety, and the wishes of all involved, without thinking that there's a detection in it and the need to meet government targets for everything. Obviously you may still end up justifying your actions to someone in charge, so you have to explain yourself in a report.

Here's a picture of me typing up such a report and acting as my own gatekeeper and CPS Direct, doing in about 20 minutes what used to take a couple of hours (in this heat (30+degrees) you need a minimum of two regular cokes or one slurpee to effectively write a report).

People who are arrested aren't routinely brought into the Canadian version custody, only those who are going to be remanded are put in what you would recognise as a custody suite. For the rest we have holding cells (a kind of 'custody lite') where we put people while we're processing the paperwork to release them (a little bit like releasing them on bail with conditions to attend court). Sometimes, we arrest people and don't even bring them to the police station: technology helps us to identify the suspect, a pen helps us to write out the charge sheet and we write the report on a computer in the car (from where we can also check our emails).

We don't have PACE over here, so prisoners aren't routinely interviewed or visited by solicitors, the general idea is that you arrest people in order to charge them, you don't arrest them, then gather sufficient evidence so that you can charge them. It's a big difference and means that you can't simply arrest people because you suspect them, you have to have a bit more than that.

When you also take into account the fact that Stop and Search and 47/3 (police) bail don't exist, it probably seems like we have fewer powers of arrest, search and detention than in the UK, and it's probably true that over here the police do have fewer powers. However, in the UK, you spend so much time justifying the fact that you exercised the powers in the first place, you never get out of the station. For example, it's all very well having the power to arrest on reasonable suspicion, as you do in the UK, the problem is that once you've used that power, the demands of PACE, the CPS and NCRS ensure that you remain in custody justifying your arrest and trying to get your suspect to court.

As usual, let me know what you think.

Condolences

2008-08-10T17:30:27+00:00

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago. She was beginning to lose her social skills. This is one of the big things to learn to cope with after the loss of someone this close. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. ...

CTCC Motorcycle Display Team

2008-08-10T12:26:11+00:00

The CTCC Motorcycle patrol display team have been practising for their annual display.

Late night shopping.

2008-08-10T12:26:11+00:00

The radio crackles into life to disturb the otherwise deafening silence in my earpiece. The tone in the voice of the comms operator tells me that there is a code A on the immediate horizon. 'Any unit near the shops, burglary in progress at shop at number 16?' Pinch me...............I am not ...

A price worth paying?

2008-08-10T12:25:43+00:00

Like the vast majority of us, PC Geoff King joined West Midlands Police "to reduce crime and disorder and make our communities feel safer" PC King was patrolling an area of Wolverhampton that had been hit by a spate of car thefts. He was doing his duty and being the ...

Katrina

2008-08-10T12:25:43+00:00

Lean on Me by Kirk Franklin - Hurricane Katrina Tribute Amazing - and we live in a civilised society? I guess we don't have ghettoes in Britain?

My Sweet Lord

2008-08-10T12:25:43+00:00

My Sweet Lord This is probably one of the great songs of our times. Chief Officer's might learn a little from these words. Have you ever wondered why so many of the older Black generation are church goers? The answers might be found in this song.

Another great day for British “justice” - 2

2008-08-10T12:25:43+00:00

Thanks to the Wolverhampton Express & Star for bringing us yet another example of how the judicial system looks after the criminal, rather than the victim. Two predators who attacked lone women in the West Midlands in a series of terrifying kidnaps and robberies have had their 10-year jail sentences cut. Nathan ...

With All Due Respect

2008-08-09T23:07:00+00:00

I may have been away knitting. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t paying attention. The thing is, my working hours are filled with an endless stream of initiatives and new ideas. It makes for an entertaining and varied life I can tell you. At the start of most weeks I like to think I’m a crime fighter, just for nostalgic purposes you understand. This illusion is usually shattered by the time I’ve

More Madness

2008-08-09T19:29:59+00:00

More proof, if proof were needed, of the ludicrous situation the legal system finds itself in.

An illegal immigrant has been jailed for 9 months for failing to comply with a removal order which should have seen him returning to Georgia, that’s as in ex-Soviet, not American state.

Shamil Shakirar does not fit the criteria for automatic deportation (including having been jailed) so he could only be deported by a removal order which, amazingly, requires his signature. He refused to sign the document so has been jailed for failing to comply with the removal order.

A Home Office spokesman said they would seek his removal on his release from prison.

So someone who has no right to remain in this country can only be removed if he agrees to go? The country really has gone mad.

How much does it cost to keep someone in prison for a week again?

Ruffles

2008-08-09T10:43:00+00:00

More and more, we are starting to worry in our team about our Sergeant.
He has always been on the eccentric side of the camp, and in fact, has happily described himself as "bloody mad" before.

At first, they were minor things. Things that made me chuckle - like when he was put in custody, a prisoner was brought before him, and the good sergeant brought out a coin of foreign denomination with a head on both sides. He then proceeded to tell the prisoner that he was going to decide bail on the flip of the coin, heads no bail, tails you get bail...
He hasn't been posted as Custody Sergeant for a long time.

This, and other striking traits has always endeared him to me. Like many long-serving sergeants, his knowledge of most law is vast and in a critical incident he kicks into action, and obviously knows the vast majority of police procedures back to front. He even nicks people occasionally.
But outside of these kind of incidents, he potters along in a bemused way making jokes that aren't funny and asking questions of officers that have little or no basis in reality.

Recently though (and I appreciate this may give a clue who I actually am), he has taken to going everywhere with a small cuddly toy in tow, the kind of thing you get free with a McDonalds happy meal.

He is inordinately proud of this toy.

He clutches it close whilst talking to senior officers, sits it on the desk whilst supervising crime reports... and chats to it all the while. Even whilst no one is about.
This is fine by me, but some of the other patrol sergeants are starting to get that weary, I've had enough face when sitting opposite a sergeant having an animated conversation with a fluffy toy: "What's that Ruffles? Under the Home Office counting rules this crime report might be better classified as a criminal damage. Hmm, you may be right."

I recently had the pleasure of driving him about on a night duty, and I can testify now that Ruffles (not his real name) was safely buckled into the back of the supervisor's van before I drove anywhere. At one point we went to a fire, and the sergeant got him out to sit on the dashboard.
Apparently Ruffles likes fire.

All this is well and good - the Police has always had a comforting way of welcoming eccentrics into the ranks.
But Ruffles must go.
Our sergeant has started deferring questions to Ruffles. Acting Sergeant Ruffles as we must now call him.
Ruffles has even started countermanding our sergeant's orders.

Last week Ruffles denied an annual leave request I made.

The bear must go.

Woof, woof

2008-08-08T19:57:54+00:00

More doggy capers in the news recently.

The ACPO guidelines on the use of police dogs are being re-written. Peter Vaughn, deputy chief constable of South Wales Police is the mouthpiece on them.

He is quoted as saying, “The draft guidelines outline a general principle that forces should consider what steps can be taken to avoid offending people. This might include different categories of people such as those with a fear of dogs, for example, or asthma sufferers who may be sensitive to dog hair.”

The response in the national press is unsurprisingly one of piss-taking & derision. The Express sums it up with their headline “Sorry Sir, is it all right if we set our police dog on you?”

I’ve not seen the guidelines so I have no idea if the DCC’s comments have been taken out of context. Either the press are picking up on an element & extrapolating it to the nth degree for a story – the press doing that, surely not – or someone really has forgotten that the job of the police is to police